A few weeks ago Claire came to me and shared that a classmate had made a racial comment to her. It may not have been the first time it happened, but it left enough of an impression on her for her to mention it to me. With more than 20 years of parenting experience under my belt, I immediately launched into an explanation of how I saw the event - trying to make her understand that some people are basically idiots. Later, after giving the incident more thought, I realized that this is something I will never completely understand from her viewpoint since I am not Asian. I asked Tony to have "the talk" with her. About his experiences with racism, and how he has learned to deal with them.
It's really tough to have to have this kind of conversation with your seven-year-old child - basically telling her that she can expect a lifetime of people occasionally making cruel and inappropriate comments. Though hopefully she can prepare for it, and determine what her response will be - ignore it? respond to it directly? That's her decision to make.
On the up side, we recently attended a reunion for the girls in Claire's adoption group - comprised of seven girls adopted from Nanping SWI in November of 2002. It's very cool that the entire group is still in touch and that six of the seven girls attended the reunion. As angry as I get when I heard about the racial comment, the opposite was true when I saw the girls together again. It's heartwarming that, for one day at least, it's "normal" to be Chinese and adopted. These girls share an incredible bond by virtue of the fact that their lives began in the same place on the other side of the world and under very similar circumstances. I want this relationship they share to continue for a long time. I hope they can support one another as they face the sometimes harsh realities of being a "non-white" adoptee. Again, it's something that, try as I do, I will never fully appreciate what it feels like to walk in Claire or Sydney's shoes.
